Title: Goole

Patrolman Howarth: No matter how reliable your car, one day it will let you down.

Chances are it will not happen on your drive. Nor will it conk out beside that bloke up the road who knows everything about engines.

No. we both know that it will break down at 2 in the morning, just south of the Humber Bridge. It will be raining and for some reason you will be wearing sandals and a T shirt. There will of course be no street lights and your travelling companion will be a cat that is having kittens – as are your mum and dad who are waiting for you in Hull.

That’s when you will meet me – RAC patrolman Howarth – Andy to my friends – and I can assure you that, at 2 in the morning just south of the Humber Bridge, you will greet me like a long-lost friend.

As is my wont, I will listen to your musings about the workings of the internal combustion engine and then invite you – and the cat – to come and sit in my nice warm, comfy car whilst I replace your alternator which, just as my onboard computer predicted, was the cause of the problem.

I will then ask you if you’d like to press on to Hull or would prefer one of our relationship managers to fix you up in a hotel for the night. Then, before once again joining my thermos of hot cocoa by the side of the road, I will gently remind you of the two free checks your car is allowed every year. And how they are designed to spot things like dodgy alternators…

I do enjoy meeting people but if you don’t want to meet me one dark, wet night, take my advice, have the free check ups. You’re entitled to them.

MV2: The RAC. It says you’ve arrived

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